Mantis in my Pantis

So I get up this morning, all ready for an invigorating ride complete with dodging car doors and honking horns, and to my surprise I discover that my bike has some other passengers. Timbo, if I remember correctly, you said you used to battle ants all the time when you lived in Hawaii. Word has it that the bro was the most feared ant fighter this side of the Tonga trench, errr... that side. Well anyhow, the little guys decided that inside of my bike frame would be a good place to set up shop. It really is a perfect ant home. A small, easily defendable entrance (holes in the chainstays) with an impenetrable casing. As I wheeled my bike out of the shed, the surprised ants started tearin' around all angry, like chuckin' a single doughnut into an over eater's anonymous help group. They were, as I often say "all up in my grill like that."

And no wonder, would you like it if some dude started jostling your house around at that hour of the morning? Feeling guilty, I set out to make them feel at home. I doused the entrance to their home with chain lube and red grease to get rid of all that rust that surely coated the inside of the chainstays. Then, thinking that they might enjoy the thrill of zero gravity, I powered the bike off a few of the bigger curbs near my place. Making sure not to sit on my seat and crush any of their poor souls, I figured my morning commute, complete with city transit exhaust might boost their Carbon Monoxide levels. I changed routes though, so they could enjoy the roller coaster ride that is college hill road (I routinely pass cars on this badboy). On my way there I tried a few laughable stunts in Aotea square, complete with big bunny hops, just to seal the deal for my new tenants. Sadly, by the time I made it to campus, they had all left for seemingly greener pastures. You can't win everybody over.

Cheers